“Although emphasizing inherent differences between the sexes certainly strikes a chord with many couples, such simplistic frameworks can be harmful in the context of relationships, says Reis, a leader in the field of relationship science.
In fact, Reis believes using gender as a scapegoat can lead to relationship problems.
‘When something goes wrong between partners, people often blame the other partner’s gender immediately. Having gender stereotypes hinders people from looking at their partner as an individual.
They may also discourage people from pursuing certain kinds of goals. When psychological and intellectual tendencies are seen as defining characteristics, they are more likely to be assumed to be innate and immutable. Why bother to try to change?’”
~ This quote comes from a new study on gender*, “Men and Women are from Earth: Examining the Latent Structure of Gender“, which states, “Despite considerable popular literature suggesting a vast psychological difference between men and women, a new study suggests that gender differences are relatively insignificant.”
Here’s a really good post about gender roles by Rachel Held Evans, where she states ~
~ “How do I want to be treated?
Like the stereotypical man? Nope.
Like the stereotypical woman? Nope.
What I want is to be treated like a human being, like the unique person God created me to be.
I want to be treated like Rachel.”
Yep.
Is too much to ask, does it stretch our brain cells too much to consider this gender thing isn’t as simple as women do this, men do that? Gender isn’t black and white; there’s a lot of gray, fuzzy areas about it that can make us uncomfortable. But being uncomfortable doesn’t excuse us from the difficult work of getting to know individuals, and to stop thinking we know everything about a person simply because we know their gender.
*My thanks to Libby Anne, writer of Love, Joy, Feminism, for pointing me to the gender study, as well as her insightful thoughts on the subject.
